Me: “Hello, so you’re having some chest pain?”

Patient: “It just hurts.”

Me: “When did it start?”

Patient: “It just hurts.”

Me: “Where on your chest?”

Patient: “It just hurts.”

Me: “Anything make it worse?”

Patient: “It just hurts.”

Me: “Ever had this before?”

Patient: “It just hurts.”

Me: “Fine, enough, I’ll just order a bunch of tests.”

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Nurse: “Your chest pain patient wants to know what’s taking so long.”

Patient: “So how come my chest hurts?”

Me: “Gee sir it’s kind of hard to say since you answered none of my questions.”

Patient: “Is it stress?”

Me: “No, that’s my chest pain, thanks.”